There is the old classic joke
about the cowboy who plays
in a game he knows is fixed.
When asked why he plays in a
game he can't beat, his response is...

It's the only game in town!


Here are some jokes about our favorite cards game. Hopefully these will help relax the atmosphere around the table.
The name of the site, "It's the only game in town!" also comes from a Poker joke
(which appears in its entirety in the header) which appeared in an article I read by Poker player Hal Kant.
In some cases, understanding the punchline depends on understanding poker terminology.
To help, I link some terms to their definition.

  • Q: Why is Helen Keller bad at Poker?
    A: Because she's always the Big Blind!
  • Q: Why didn’t the elephant like to play poker in the jungle?
    A: Because there are too many cheetahs.
  • Q: What is the…difference between a poker player and a dog?
    A: The dog will eventually stop whining.
  • Q: How can you tell when a professional poker player is lying?
    A: His chips are moving.
  • Q: What's the difference between Phil Hellmuth and God?
    A: God doesn't think he's Phil Hellmuth.
  • A man comes home from his weekly poker game late.
    His annoying wife is waiting for him. "Where the heck have you been?"
    "Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave."
    "How did you manage that, you fool?"
    "It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a Royal Flush."
  • A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog playing poker.
    The guy is amazed that the dog is playing poker.
    "Bartender, is that a real dog playing poker?" the guy asks.
    "Yep, real as can be," the bartender replies.
    "Well, is he any good?" the guy asks.
    "Nah, every time he has a good hand he wags his tail."
  • To have a poker man in your life, can be just as a deck of cards:
    You will need the heart to find the love.
    You will need the diamonds for marrying him.
    You will need the club so you can beat him.
    And finally you will need a spade so you can bury the bastards!
  • King of Hearts (K♥)
    Suicide King.
    Because of the way the king holds the sword in the picture on the card.
    The King of Hearts card
  • Jack of Spades, Jack of Hearts (J♠, J♥)
    One-Eyed Jacks.
    Because of the way these jacks face in the picture on the card.
    The Jack of Spades and Jack of Hearts cards
  • Ace-King (A-K):
    Anna Kournikova.
    Tennis player. Looks good, but never wins.
  • Nine-Five (9-5):
    Hard Working Man.
    Works from 9 to 5 o'clock."
  • Ten-Nine (T-9)
    Countdowns usually start at ten...nine...
  • Ten-Ten (T-T)
    1010 looks like a four digit Binary string.
  • Jack-Seven (J-7)
    Jack Daniel's.
    Named after Jack Daniel's Old No. 7 Tennessee whiskey.
  • Seven-Two (7-2):
    Stands for "Worst Hand In Poker."
  • Sources:
    Some I actually heard about my own Poker game with friends.